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What to Expect

What to Expect

What to Expect Before the Funeral

It is a common enough experience. A loved one dies and now you have got to face something you have never ever done before. You have got to go to a funeral home to make their funeral arrangements. Now, not only are you emotionally affected by their death, you are anxious and really need to know what to expect when you arrive. So, let us talk about that for a bit.

You should know that we have taken great pains to make your experience with us as easy as possible. Here is how:
  • We have put a lot of work into making our funeral home a pleasant place to spend time. That means our interior design is inviting, the rooms are bright, spacious, yet cozy, and the furniture is comfortable.
  • Our staff is both professional yet personable. We believe that when you leave, you will consider us more than funeral directors.  We hope to be a support to you and someone you can really trust to compassionately care for your loved one and for your family.
  • We have streamlined the funeral arrangement process. Since we have been making funeral arrangements with families for a very long time, we have had ample opportunity to learn the easiest, most efficient way to get through the process. 
  • Our team is trained to handle all the details. From your initial contact with the funeral through to our after care program following the service, we are here to guide you. Please ask us any question at anytime, we are here to assist you and help ease your mind. 

    Exactly What Happens at the Funeral Home?

    We cannot speak to every situation but we can tell you the basics of what to expect on your first visit to our funeral home.
    • When you come through the front door, you will be greeted warmly by a staff member. Names will be exchanged, and hands shaken in cordiality. Some words of comfort will be offered.
    • Once informed of the reason for your visit, you will be directed to an arrangement office. 
    • Before the funeral arrangement conversation goes very far, you will be given a copy of our General Price List  to assist you in making an informed decision on your choices.
    The funeral director will then ask you a number of questions. The conversation is intended to do two things:
    1. Share accurate details of the deceased to assist the funeral director in completing relevant paperwork
    2. Come to an agreement about the plans for the funeral service, memorial service, celebration of life or cremation service 
    This meeting will take as long as is required to answer your questions and complete funeral arrangements for your loved one.  Typically this encounter will be 1 hour to 2 hours long.  

      Clearly State the Facts

      When it comes to properly completing paperwork and writing a detailed obituary, accuracy is everything. 

      We suggest you bring as much of the following as possible:
      • The deceased's full name
      • Their Social Insurance Number
      • Parent's names
      • Spouse and children's names
      • Maiden name of mother
      • Marital status
      • Educational history
      • History of military service
      • Work history
      • Hobbies and interests
      • Church affiliation
      • A list of organizational and club memberships
      • A recent photograph
      If you are unable to bring any of this information, you can always call us later to share whatever is missing.

      Planning for the Funeral Event

      The second step in the funeral arrangement meeting is the planning a meaningful ceremony to pay tribute and celebrate the life of your loved one.

      In order to facilitate things, we ask that you bring:
      • Pre-arrangement papers, if applicable
      • Clothes in which to bury or cremate your loved one
      • Cemetery property information, if applicable
      • A list of preferred charities for memorial donations, if applicable
      • A list of pallbearers, if applicable
      • Desired musical and readings selections
      • Photographs, if applicable
      We would also appreciate hearing about your memories and stories of your loved one as we guide you through the planning of their funeral service, memorial service, celebration of life or cremation service.

      In the End

      Our time together will take only as long as you need it to take. 

      While the time you spend with us in your first visit can be very difficult and emotionally-draining; you will be among people who really care about your welfare.  

      We will support you throughout the funeral arrangement process, in any way you need us to. We believe you will find that when you leave, you have really had very little to be anxious about. But if you still have any questions or concerns, call us today to learn more about what to expect when you come to our funeral home.

      What to Expect During the Funeral

      A funeral service can be challenging if we do not know what to expect. Here is a short list of things you can expect:
      • We do our best to provide adequate parking facilities. Yet, parking may be hard to find, so do your best to arrive 10-15 minutes early.
      • Depending on the location of the funeral, your entrance may be governed by protocol. Often, guests are asked to remain unseated until the family has taken their seats. Sometimes ushers are provided to escort you to your seat. If you are unclear as to what is expected, just watch others for your cues or ask the funeral attendant.
      • Again, depending on the location, the ceremony may be officiated by a pastor, minister, celebrant or officiant.
      • Remember that the front seats are intended for immediate family members, so choose a seat near the middle; or, if you did not know the deceased well, sit near the back of the room.
      • You may receive a copy of the funeral order-of-service, which details what will happen during the ceremony. It will tell you exactly which hymns will be sung, and specifically names the prayers to be read. It is like a program at a theater or symphony performance: the funeral order-of-service is a very handy thing to have. If you are given one, hang on to it.
      • Depending on what is in the order-of-service, you will have the opportunity to participate in various activities. You may be asked to stand to sing a hymn or kneel in prayer; only participate to the degree you feel comfortable.
      • If the service is less traditional and more a celebration-of-life, you may be asked to close the service with a release of a balloon. Or you may find yourself requested to place a flower in the casket. Some families ask their guests to write a note to the deceased and place it in the casket. We suggest doing only as much as you feel comfortable doing.

      Will People Cry?

      You can certainly expect to find people crying at a funeral. It is always helpful to remember to bring a travel pack of tissues with you; however, the funeral home staff will also have access to tissues if you—or the person seated next to you—has a need to wipe their eyes.

      But, here is something you should also know: people laugh at funerals too. 

      A funeral is a rich bittersweet mixture of sorrow and joy. In fact, when we are at a funeral, guests remind us of the well-known remark from Theodore Geisel, better known as Dr. Seuss: “Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.”

      You will see tears, and you may hear some laughter. Without doubt, emotions run high at funerals and sometimes there is even a demonstration of anger by one or more of the survivors. Expect people to be on their best behaviour, but also know that anything can happen.

      How to Leave the Funeral

      The funeral officiant will make it very clear that the funeral service is over. They will invite the the immediate family and close friends to leave the building first. Unlike at the end of a theater performance, people don not simply stand up and walk out. Instead, they wait for the rows in front of them to empty before stepping out into the aisle.

      Guests and family may collect outside the location for some quiet conversation. If you are now ready to leave, do your best to say a sincere good-bye to the bereaved family.

      If you choose to follow the hearse and casket to the cemetery or crematory, you will be given clear directions by members of the funeral home staff.

      If you choose to leave at this point in the funeral, make a quiet, discreet exit. Make a note to yourself to contact the bereaved family by phone in the next week or so. Offer them some time for them to talk about their loss; and if you are willing, make a few suggestions about chores and other things you could do for them. Know that even if they decline your offer, they will be delighted to know you are thinking enough of them to call.

      What to Expect After the Funeral

      The Early Days After Loss

      The funeral or memorial service is over. Things have begun to grow quiet. Maybe the phone is not ringing as much as it was, or fewer people are stopping by to check in on you. Your loved one's death continues to become more of a reality. The very thought of facing your life over the next few weeks and months fills you both with loneliness and a sense of dread.  It all feels like way too much to deal with. You should know that right now it is okay to take care of yourself first.

      You have two important things to do in the coming weeks and months. As much as possible, you need to practice exquisite self-care. You also need to spend some time focused on completing the paperwork which will officially change the status of your loved one with banks and creditors, employers, insurance companies and mortgage holders. This can be a slow process. Try to do it in bite sized pieces.

      The Paperwork

      It is wise to try to locate and safeguard as many of the documents listed below as possible:
      • Birth certificate
      • Driver's License or State Identification Card
      • Passport (if applicable)
      • Marriage certificate
      • Divorce papers (if applicable)
      • Deeds and Titles to real and personal property
      • Veteran's Affairs Documents
      • Recent Income Tax Forms
      • Employment records
      • Recent hospitalization records
      • Insurance documents: Life, Health, Automobile, Credit Card Coverage
      • Survivor Pension Paperwork
      • RRSP, RRIF, LIF, TFSA or similar products that may have designated certain beneficiaries and / or the estate to receive funds at death

        17 Things to Do After the Funeral

        1. Use a notebook to record the date and time of every phone conversation, email or postal communication. If you did it, write it down. Be sure to include the full name of the person you spoke to, their job title; and their employer identification or extension number.
        2. Request certified copies of the Death Certificate. Speak with one of our funeral professionals to determine just how many you will require.
        3. Check to see if deceased left a valid signed will. This may require contacting the family lawyer, checking your safe deposit box or home safe and a search of the residence.
        4. Get the mail redirected, if applicable. Visit the Canada Post website to learn more about how to submit a Change of Address form. Or stop by your local post office.
        5. Stop health insurance coverage. You may need to provide them with additional information, so keep your relevant paperwork handy.
        6. Contact an employer or union. Determine if there are any death-related benefits available, ask (and answer) questions, and change any relevant contact information. 
        7. Make sure to pay the bills. Some folks have their bills paid automatically, but if this is not the case here, you will need to take care of them before they become delinquent. If you fear delinquency, you may wish to speak with a representative to work out a payment plan.
        8. Search out a competent estate lawyer to assist you with the application for "A certificate of appointment of estate trustee with (or without) a will". A good estate lawyer will coach you in what needs to occur to facilitate this application including the payment of the estimated Ontario Estate Administration Tax. If there is no will, then someone will need to apply to become the authorized estate trustee with the support of 50% or more of the eligible estate beneficiaries. Seek the counsel of a qualified estate lawyer if your loved one had no valid will. 
        9. Notify utility departments. Depending on the situation, the accounts may be closed, or the account owner's name and contact details changed.
        10. Transfer title of real and personal property. Whether it is an automobile, boat, motorcycle, RV, or plane; you will need to inform the Ontario Ministry of Transportation of the change in ownership. At the very same time, notify any related vehicular or personal property insurance companies of the change in status.
        11. Close or modify credit card accounts. You will probably need to provide each of them with a certified copy of the death certificate. 
        12. Contact life insurance companies. Not everyone has life insurance; but some people have more than one policy. No matter how many policies were in force, you will probably need to provide each of them with a certified copy of the death certificate for each claim made.
        13. Notify other policy holders of the change in "Beneficiary" status. If your loved one was a designated beneficiary on the insurance policies, investment or banking accounts of other individuals, then you will need to notify them of the death of a beneficiary.
        14. Arrange to close or modify bank accounts. 
        15. If there are stocks and bonds in the estate, meet with the advisor to determine next steps.
        16. Work with our funeral home staff to report the death to government agencies. Also, advise other organizations such as professional or avocational organizations, Masonic lodges, Rotary Clubs, places where there was a membership (gym and golf course etc.)
        17. Tend to their digital estate. If they were active on social media, you will need to inform the specific networking sites of the change in status. You will need to close email accounts as well as any online banking portal or investment accounts. 
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